That's your alcoholism whispering to you. And our culture. It and they associate alcohol with strength and manliness (or in my case, showing that I'm a girl who can hang with the guys, whatever the hell that means... a trope I ingested somewhere when I was younger). But it has nothing to do with strength or weakness. It is a hole in the road that a full 7% of the adult US population falls into. It is an illness.
I was like you.. a wee bit slower. I had my first drink in high school but didn't really start until I was 19. By 25 I was definitely an alcoholic. I was only able to keep that more-or-less manages for about 3 years, then by the time I was 29 I was drinking so much that there were days I could barely walk because my withdrawal was so bad. Like you, on my bad days I'd drink 3 bottles of wine or more.
We're lucky. At least I feel that way. There's no wiggle room here, no way to convince myself that I can drink normally. I wouldn't survive another couple years drinking. But that doesn't make me any less strong for quitting.