Why do some of us progress so much faster than others? :/
It took me five years, 20 to 25, to go from my very first drink to daily, life-ruining, all-consuming, constant-battle, full-time-job style drinking. At 26 I lost my job, my friends, my apartment, every single thing I ever had.
At the end (I hope the end) I drank an average of three bottles of wine a day for most of nine months, until about 55 days ago. It took only six years from Drink 1 to get there.
On the other hand, I know so many alcoholics drink for decades--20, 30 years or more--and simultaneously continue to function and often appear normal. Both their quantity of alcohol and their quantity of problems don't go up as fast as mine did.
Why? What's wrong with me? Is there anyone else like me? I know I also have social anxiety, and that that might've helped things along. Is that all? Does that really explain a difference that huge between me and so many others?
I'm just curious about this. Also, I feel like it somehow shows I'm a terrible person on top of being an alcoholic, so I'm just putting this out there to see if anything anyone says helps me get some perspective on that feeling :/
I apologize if this post is inappropriate.