That is often how things work in a family. They put blinders on and only see what they want. Your husband of course only wants others to see him in the best light possible. You need to just accept that.
As far as the holidays are concerned you don't need to participate. I told my husband years ago that I would no longer be going to his mother's on Christmas day for xyz reasons. He and our sons of course should continue to go. They did and I spent several wonderful hours in a quiet peaceful house.