Yesterday I had 3 drinks, a lot less than I used to, but still I did. I have a feeling I've picked a bad time to do this. I'm about 2 weeks off from when I should have started but I'll keep on lurking and working on not drinking until then. Full time job with milestones at work and un upcoming end of contract, a startup with a deadline in 2 weeks, little kids .. not sleeping and having my mind all-consumed with not drinking and over analysis and planning so I don't drink is a tough task on top of all that.I did not drink for 4 days but I also was unable to do anything else.
I am NOT giving up, but I had to come clean. I am proud of my 4 days and I will continue my journey. Now I know that:
- I don't need alcohol to get energized (one or a combination of working out, water and caffeine works just as well)
- I CAN do sober all the things I've been doing with alcohol (I have 4 days to prove it)
- kids are a big trigger (I need to work on calming myself down and reacting less; I need to stop going at 1000 mph around them)
- falling asleep is possible without alcohol (melatonin works well, breathing exercises wok well)
I also found a great community here. I am so proud of everyone and their milestones. You all give me hope not just for sobriety but also for human kind, given how supportive and open everyone is.
xo