Have you considered couples counselling Snooz? or counselling by yourself?
You've been unhappy for a long time - I don't think that's all your problem but it's a big part of it....
the other part is - and I know how unpleasant this is...but maybe this alcoholism thing is not something you can solve on your own, or even with SR?
I know you're reluctant to do AA or anything like that, but you keep coming back to the drink as a solution, and I'm worried for you Wendy.
D