Addiction does everything it can to protect itself. That means blame-shifting and denial. To take responsibility for the consequences of our choices means having to deal with the addiction. Dealing with the addiction is like standing naked in a tsunami -- not one stitch to protect oneself from life on life's terms.
I had to learn to spend a lot less time trying to figure out why my addicted loved ones did and said the things they did and a lot more time figuring out why I accepted it.