Hey team November
Wishing everyone a safe evening...
Feeling a little off today so figured it's be a good idea to post and get a few things down.
The last 10 days have seemed like a month, and during that time I've done so much thinking about things that I forget that to everyone else in my life , it's just been 10 days ... And 10 days is certainly not long enough to negate the terrible damage that has been done to the trust between myself and my gf. It's amazing that she hasn't left me , but she's loyal and she's stubborn, and I'm lucky despite myself.
I told her earlier that I'm going to watch a basketball game at a friends and that I wouldn't be too late, and she teared up because going through her mind, of course, is that I'll be out all night god knows where doing god knows what ... I got mad because in my mind, after this last 10 days why would I f*** up now!? But I thought it through .. And of course she thinks this way. Living with me for 5 years would lead her to think that. Getting and staying sober is one thing, but I can't undo the things I've done , and only time and effort will reconcile the past...
So be it
It'll still be worth it