Old 11-10-2015, 09:00 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
FreeOwl
Member
 
FreeOwl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
this is just my opinion, but here is how I would respond to the situation you're describing;

I would have a face-to-face discussion with my sponsor.... I'd sit down over coffee somewhere in private together and I'd let my sponsor know that I wasn't feeling called to be a part of the business aspect or the specific service roles of the AA program, or to necessarily have a designated "home group" - if that's where I was at.

Personally, I feel an allegiance to one particular meeting and I consider it my "home group". But - I don't do service work in the sense of taking on a meeting chair or going to group conscience meetings, etc. At this point in my life and my membership in the program, that doesn't call to me and I don't feel that's where I'd like to focus my giveback. I DO go and give my time at the detox unit at the hospital, visiting there several times a year to speak and offer support to their group meetings. I don't go to meetings every day or even every week these days, but I do embrace a lot of AA. I haven't worked all of the steps yet, but I am still dwelling in step 4 and from time to time I note something or work on my workbook or at least spend some conscious time looking back on aspects of my life and history in awareness of my step work. I feel I am growing and deepening my sobriety in a lot of ways - and AA is a key part of that which I value and cherish.

All of that said, if I'm not feeling ready, called or particularly motivated to focus on something - I am very honest and clear with my sponsor. Sometimes my sponsor pushes back a bit.... and when he does I pay attention to that, because often he sees something that I don't. Sometimes I'm just not ready for it. If I were to have an honest discussion with my sponsor and he pushed me, I'd seriously dwell on it. I'd tell him "give me a week and let's meet on this again". If he still pushed me after that, I would ask him to respect my readiness. If he still pushed me after that, I would respectfully suggest that I needed a break from our relationship. Sponsors are not bosses or rulers or gods... they are humans, as are we. We need to learn to open our hearts and minds to the guidance of those who have gone successfully before us, but that does not mean following orders or suggestions we are not yet ready for, nor does it mean being pushed or harassed to do so if we've given it honest consideration and respectfully communicated that we're not ready.
FreeOwl is offline