I'm sorry you feel this way. I can relate. I remember those days of not wanting ANYTHING to do with life but drinking the day in front of me away.
I thought about quitting my job...I thought about quitting my relationship, etc....
It's skewed/flawed thinking caused by the alcohol in my experience.
I took the alcohol out of the picture and those thoughts went away. But i can relate...I did have them. And alcohol told me that they were right.
Get help. Grab ahold of AA and go everyday. Don't listen to yourself (and the Alcoholic voice/thoughts)...
SR is here for you. AA is there for you. But you have to take control. You need to fight for it. Don't give up.
Findingtheway