Originally Posted by
doggonecarl 
...quitting everything but the drinking?
Give up the booze and you'll feeling like hanging on to everything else in your life.
Can you get into rehab?
^^^^ This.
Drash; you are listening to your Alcoholic voice and buying into all the lies and nonsense that it is telling you.
Alcoholism, without recovery, is a one-way ticket to despair, self-loathing, physical/mental/spiritual deterioration and a host of other negative experiences.
Shut that AV down, drash; buy a ticket to sobriety, instead. it's a much better ride with a pretty incredible view.