back again
I've been here before.
I'm writing this drunk. and if that puts anyone off i don't blame you.
I've suffered the insomnia.
I'm finally sleeping better. i just can't seem to stop the weekend binge.
was back home for the holidays and drank drank drank.
back in singapore now. back to work. my boss sees a difference. can't seem to concentrate.
i have been to aa 3 times. just so ambivalent about quitting drinking.
everytime i resolve to stop... 3 days later I'm convincing myself to get loaded again.
I've been here 1000 times.
i need serious help. i have staetorrhea. and cramps and i still drink.
I'm functional. i keep my job. and my wife and parents aren't aware how deep in the hole i am.
i feel like quitting my job, or quitting my marriage, or quitting my life. just feel like quitting.
i know i will wake up tomorrow and gget through it.
i know i will feel like getting smashed again on friday.
is there any relief from this?
i feel like such failure.
ash