Hello Julyers!
Njkitty, I am so glad you answered that question about Christmas in the summer, I had always wondered the same thing!
Crois- your words resonated with me. The physical effects of drinking are just a small part of it. It really does affect our attitude, psyche and mindset- for me I live my life so differently and think and feel so differently when I have some sober time versus my sneaky nightly drinking binges.
I drank the past 3 nights. If I don't come clean here, then i just perpetuate my isolation and it all lives in my mind with the twisted AV and we all know his tricks and games. I want the sobriety so many of you have so badly, I just get a few days or a week in me and somehow I forget. I have all of these grand plans, what to do in a craving, and sometimes I do them, and they work, but all it takes is one time that I don't.
Anyway, I've got to pull myself out of this. I can feel myself gaining weight, I feel awful and have lost my center. I love the holidays and I don't want to spend them wrapped up in this cycle.
Sorry for rambling. I wasn't even planning on admitting it. I'm going to head out for a long walk with my doggie and hope that clears my mind some, it usually does. For a while anyway.
Love to all. I will get there ...