Originally Posted by
teatreeoil007 
But being a perfectionist can also rob a person from engaging. We tend to have a mindset of, "If it's not going to be perfect, bag it!" If I am not in decent shape why bother going to the gym. If I feel 'fat', I'll just stay home. If I am not at my best, don't show up." Can't play the perfect guitar break? Nix it." And on and on it goes until you have "opted' yourself out of things that will help you grow.
Perfectionism can cause a person to sort of 'freeze.'
It can also drive a person to want to numb theirself to all that is not perfect...which is a lot of things and people in this world...
Wow, how true is this. That's exactly what it is- it's debilitating. It's not cutesie like people think. Perfectionism isn't the prissy girl on the sitcom who hates it when her nails break or who cries over an A-. Actual perfectionism is the root of a lot of debilitating disorders- including addiction, hoarding disorder, anorexia/bulimia, and obsessive-compulsive disorder, among others.
It's being so paralyzed by anxiety and fear that you don't even want to START something. "I might fail, so I never started college." "I might embarrass myself, so I never went to prom." "I don't think I'm very athletic, so I never tried out for the team."
In my case- I don't know that my book is good enough, so I've never sought publication. But I hate myself for not being published yet, which is a lifelong goal of mine. Even THINKING of a goal or an idea exhausts me, because it sends all of my mental energy into a tailspin. It's also the reason I've started so many projects in my life but haven't completed many of them. I lack intrinsic motivation and worry more about pleasing others than doing things for myself or just for the satisfaction of success. And my measure of success is no where near a normal person's measure of success.
I'm always chasing something, starting something, dreaming of something, running to something, but never finishing, completing, or arriving.