addicts can be assholes, absolutely. I would venture to say that anyone in the grasp of addiction is an *******. I sure was.
Recovered alcoholics and addicts can also be assholes, but at a much lower rate. The reason for this is...... We are all human beings! People in recovery, who truly embrace a program and become willing to conquer their addiction and own up to their mistakes and truly wish to live a sober life, in my personal experience, are some of the most rocking people I know.
Those of us who won't recover, for whatever reason, do tend to get stuck in ******* mode.
As for the sponsor, well alkies don't tend to put themselves in the hands of heir sponsor. Those of us who choose the aa route tend to pick a different higher power. While we are given a ton of latitude to pick a higher power: it can be trees, the universe, God, Allah, Vishnu, Jesus, a blue tomato, but I'm pretty sure your sponsor is the only one frowned upon in terms of choosing as your hp. Again, we are all human. I love my sponsor. She has given me a huge gift of her time and wisdom and advise. But she has never given me a direct order to do anything. It doesn't really work that way. If she told me to read page 88 of a book, I'd do it. If she told me to jump off a cliff, I wouldn't. When she relapsed, I didn't.
We are all people, and when we do our very best to be our best selves, for ourselves at least as much as for our loved ones, we tend to do well.