Originally Posted by
BellJar7 
You peel back that bandage, and there's terrible perfectionism-to the point of rendering me unable to make any move in my life for fear of failure. There's pain associated with my troubled relationship with my father, who I adore but who has nothing to do with me. There's my grief and trauma associated with the recent death of my friend's daughter. The reasons I drink are varied and all need to be addressed in counseling. I don't think I can get away with claiming it's because I'm stressed anymore. I'm not drinking to unwind- I'm drinking to not have to think or feel, and that's a deeper issue.
BellJar
Welcome back and nice to meet you.
It didn't take my counselor very long to nail the perfectionism issue with me.
I'd known I was one for most of my life. Family and friends had commented on it, etc...and I was aware of it. But I didn't really see it as a problem. In fact, I had always felt it was an asset that drove me to excel in life and I have been rewarded at times by things I have perfected. *sigh*
But being a perfectionist can also rob a person from engaging. We tend to have a mindset of, "If it's not going to be perfect, bag it!" If I am not in decent shape why bother going to the gym. If I feel 'fat', I'll just stay home. If I am not at my best, don't show up." Can't play the perfect guitar break? Nix it." And on and on it goes until you have "opted' yourself out of things that will help you grow.
Perfectionism can cause a person to sort of
'freeze.'
It can also drive a person to want to numb theirself to all that is not perfect...which is a lot of things and people in this world...