I'm having a really tough week I'm so down in the dumps and angry at myself for staying so long and angry at AH for being who he is now! I miss the old him so much he was the love of my life and right now I feel like I will never love anyone the way I loved him again. I'm sad that my marriage is over and that now I'm a single mother. I'm also sorry that I didn't educate myself about alcoholism sooner and things might have been different. But no I took things into my own hands and thought I was doing everything right by giving ultimatums that I never followed through on and screaming, shouting and demanding that he stop drinking, turning myself inside out to try and help him and all for nothing as he replaced me within a couple of weeks (something I never thought he would do). He watched me fall apart and even after he went he knew I was having a hard time but continued to make things horrible for me!
I feel like I'm taking one step forward and ten steps back partly because he cannot just leave me alone. Last week he kept trying to ring me at 11.30 pm and when I didn't answer he text me saying "goodbye". He frightened me so much that I had to ring his brother to make sure he was ok. Should I ignore these kind of texts or what should I do? If anything happened to him and I didn't respond how could I live with that?
Sorry for the vent but I am so down and just had to get this off my chest
