Originally Posted by Croissant

Good to see you posting, Ladybug.
Feel better soon, Snooz.

Every day at the moment makes me feel more and more grateful to be sober, - if it's even possible to be more grateful - I'm truly blessed.

I'm back into a similar high-pressure role I was in when my drinking escalated. So, it's interesting to see how I deal with stress, difficult people (like my little dilemma last week, etc.), completely sober and free of the AV. Some little ghosts from drinking, like shaking off feeling guilty. Boy, I'm sure I feel like I'm not working enough, or slacking, or even feeling incompetent at times, just those little whispery voices telling me I just might not be good enough - or trying to tell me, anyway.

Makes me realise how terrible drinking is, not just for the physical effect it has, by being drunk, then hungover - but the whole change to our attitude and psyche that addiction makes so it can survive. Telling us to feel guilty, feel incompetent, feel down.....so we go seek out that buzz.

Boy AV....I'm uncovering all the dirty tricks you used and how you transformed me to continue the madness. It really was like being with an abusive partner, telling you you are worthless, til you finally believe it yourself and don't try looking for anything better.

Addiction is a scary thing. But thinking with a clear mind, you slowly pull back the layers of lies that kept you bound. You realise you are a great person, and going back to what you had, would be craziness.