Oh yeah, Midton, I know exactly what you mean. I had a long day at work, and today I wasn't thinking about drinking, but those thoughts crept in again of "sometime in the future I will".
I had a trigger early this morning when an ex-boyfriend sent a picture of the two of us from years ago, when I was carefree and on a lot of drugs, and my AV was telling me how much fun it was to be messed up out of my mind. So I was thinking, "really will I never be like that again?". Gosh, I hope I'm never like that again! That's not a state mature, responsible mothers aspire to be in. Ugh, and I always felt awful afterwards. So just kinda rambling here to get some of these thoughts out of my head. My links from Dee are finished downloading, and I am going to read them Now!!