Originally Posted by
KeepinItReal 
So in recent events the addicted husband is in recovery. Which for anyone who has been there - isn't a day in the park. It is still total insanity. He goes to meetings every night which test my trust. Is he really going to meetings? Do I really want to go to sleep by myself the rest of my life? Am I better off just being single? All questions that I put on hold.
However, with me - I just got news that I may have thyroid cancer. It's suspicious for follicular neoplasm and what that means is that they won't know if it is, or isn't until they cut it out of me. I have contacted the best hospital for cancer in my state and sent them all the paper work. I waiting for a call back for an appointment. So, it's not a definitive yes I have it or no I don't. It's this medium place of "oh-sh*t". So, needless to say I don't need any stress in my life now.
His mom has also drawn boundaries I can respect. She no longer wants to hear about anything to do with me and her son. Which really means don't call my father in law with the problems anymore (her husband). So, that has cut off communication that was built to be open so he (addict husband) couldn't successfully manipulate me and his dad. Addict husband is professional manipulator.
So basically i'm in a crisis in my own mind. Praying for the best - worrying about the worst. I did get something for my anxiety which was never my drug of choice but I know can be habit forming. I am not taking anything more than recommended and realize there is an end point. However, it is helping me deal with getting through the day without crying, panicking or completely losing my crap.
I just felt that I should update. Not looking for advice. Just I have always found such warm support here and that's what I need right now. Thanks.
Thinking of you and praying for you, sister. One of the things I love about this country (I am not from here
) is medical care. Especially when they catch cancers early - you are going to be ok. Take your meds, you need them now. G-d knows, I am taking mine too and it helps whole lot. Habit forming or not, you need them now more than ever.
We can't do chit for them, our H addicted husbands, no matter what. I just got a little break from mine, as his mama picked him up to go to his grandmas in NY as she is getting surgery. Mine been on Vivitrol and has now missed the shot for 2 months. I have been driving him, he is not allowed to have any $ (so he can't go anywhere and can't get chit). I tracked his every move. Guess what? He found some guy and did some hussle (dont know how) - basically had this guy drive somewhere and pick suboxone so that my addict can suck on it since H is not available
It's really funny. We can watch them all day long like babies, but if they want to get high, they will summon all of the powers in this universe and get it.
Give yourself a little break, you need you more now than he needs you. If he wants to get high, he will no matter what you do or don't do.