I have been reading all of your posts while I was out all day and I couldn't wait to get back and thank you so much. You all are so insightful. There is so much that rang true to me from every one of your posts. I consider you to be my codependency therapists. I don't post a whole lot here on this side of SR , because my spouse isn't my qualifier, I often feel like it isn't my place or that I don't have anything really helpful to add, but I have to tell you, that I have gleaned so much wisdom here at F&F and I appreciate it very much.
I am entirely grateful to have quit drinking alcohol. Alcohol was a very regular part of my life from age 15 to my early 40s, so I feel like such a fledgling finally dealing with what I used to drink away.
I went to therapy in my twenties which was great in the fact that it validated that my FOO was pretty messed up and I wasn't crazy for thinking that they were. However, I didn't take it far enough to really face how my FOO created some not so healthy behaviors in me. My husband is pretty old fashioned when it comes to counseling. When I have brought up marital counseling in the past, he is almost insulted by it. In his mind that means that our marriage is really in trouble and he feels (and I do, too) that we have a pretty solid relationship. So, I may have to reconsider individual therapy again, but in the mean time, you all ROCK!
I had lunch with one of my dearest friends today and when I relayed my marital fears, she told me that she feels I have insecurities that I have to deal with and she doesn't understand why I have the insecurities that I do. She also thinks that I confuse my "thoughts" with intuition and that sometimes gets me into trouble. So, I have a lot to meditate on here, but again, you have helped me a lot. Thank you!