It helps to write it all down sometimes. Gives you an opportunity to go back and reflect, clears your mind, reduces stress.
It is quite common for alcoholics to make attempts at controlling. It is done in an effort to reduce stress in the family. Generally long term it doesn't work and sometimes leads to a massive binge when they can no longer maintain control.
Take care of yourself and keep sharing here. We are here to help and support. You aren't alone