Krishna thank you for sharing this.
I can only add that going to my first meeting was hard but to go to a meeting after I had stormed out of nA and gone back to using was even harder. There weer times when I would drive to the parking lot and sit across the street from a meeting trying to talk myself into getting out of the car and going in.
While I was in jail, I reestablished some of my contacts with people from teh rooms and committed myself to going to an NA meetng the very first thing after I got out.
I hope anyone who is struggling that reads this will find teh courage they need to come back through reading that you and I survived our own fears and qualms.