caretaker88

Thank you everyone for sharing your advice and experiences. It is helping me tremendously, knowing I am not alone and not the only one who has been in this position. So, the update since yesterday...

I came home from work to all of the lights being on in the house (it was 6:15 a.m.), the garage door and front door wide open. My ABF was passed out in our bed. There were empty beer cans just tossed all over the house. This was incredibly strange, because my ABF is usually a complete neat freak and goes to great lengths to keep his beer AND empties out of sight. I wondered if he drank himself to death. Well, he didn't. He woke up at about 11 and found me sleeping on the couch. I left everything the way I found it when I got home, so he could see what he did the night before. He told me kindly to go to sleep in our room. About 2 hours later, he came into our room and he ripped the covers off of me and told me to "get up" and that all I ever do is sleep, sleep, sleep! I explained for the 100th time that I need sleep! I work the night shift and need to sleep during the day! He was completely drunk. He said a bunch more degrading things to me and I told him that he must have really meant it when he told me how he was so very sorry the night before. I told him that I am done riding this rollercoaster with him, that I love him, but that I love my children more, and that I was done putting up with his abuse, and I left. I am at work now. On my way to work, I called his ex-wife and told her about the situation, so that she would keep their kids until he goes to get some help. We had a good talk. She said that he had never gotten physical with her, but that the verbal and emotional abuse got completely out of control. She said that just knowing that he did this to me the other night, she knows that he is worse than she has ever known him to be. She is going to keep their kids, especially since it is in their divorce decree that she can withdraw any visitation should she find him unsafe due to his drinking or behavior.

She must have talked to him and told him this, because I got a message from his brother that my ABF called him after I left and he is coming down to help him pack for rehab. I told him that he went to rehab before and he started drinking again anyway. He said that the problem was that he never received any after care when he returned. His brother is also a recovering alcoholic and drug user and has been sober for almost 10 years. I do trust him. He said that my ABF called him for help and they are arranging for him to be taken to a treatment center about 6 hours from our house as we speak.