Hi Fuzzy
One more thing. I relate to not reaching out for help when I want to drink...because my mind is already made up. The time to reach out is usually days or even weeks before the drink. I have to notice the subtle changes in my thinking, the voices that start to rationalize. Like the voice you listened to that interpreted your groups words as permission to drink, rather than not letting a bender end your desire to quit. Its tough, relapse. On the one hand, no it isn't the end of the world. But on another, a person might never come back from it. So it has to be taken seriously, but not in that negative shame based way. Just in a way that says 'what am I going to do differently if I REALLY want to stay sober?'.