Hurting yourself solves nothing it does cause stress and damage as you know
I'm sorry you feel like that when you do, I stopped self harming over 10 years ago and i am still horribly scarred il never be able to change that & I regret I ever done it DM
As for your psych apt I suggest you be brutally honest about everything, your husband has been a rock for you & he's proberly stressed out
My best advice is keep the apt be honest be brutally honest as you have said before your husband has to keep meds from you there is self harm and you mentioned a recent OD
I don't mean to hurt you or sound harsh believe me when I say your husband loves & cares about you but he needs help from you & you keeping your apt is a good thing
Try to meditate, do you read ? do you exercise ? these things put my head in a better space I wish you the very best & hope your apt goes well tomorrow