Counselling went okay , more of a treatment center referral , thing is I wracked with guilt and insomnia , last binge I went to four houses and managed to procure alcohol , all these houses I know the people in a small village and small village talking away , I know they want to see me get better but so much remorse in my mind I cant sleep, to top that off ( I live with father and brother btw) I was on house lockdown last 8 days and still am and cracking up with cabin fever or is it alcohol withdrawals still ?, went for a walk but still feel like a freak/paranoid avoiding people , one guy I know stopped his car to ask me was I alright and to give up the drink for a while , he was genuinely concerned , oh god the fallout !, I liked that sick child analogy Debbie it works and hold true