I am in the same position as you. What exactly is the right thing to do? Do you just go about your life, living beside someone you have and want nothing to do with? Is it worth doing everything alone? Are you doing what you can to support them in a push towards recovery or are you enabling them? It goes on and on. And on. And onnnnnnnn.
But then it seems that we are the only ones that seem concerned with life, the dynamics of a relationship, etc.
I've dealt with it for a few years and I have to say that my anger and resentment replaced love and hope for some thing to change and it all go back to a time when drinking wasn't the problem. But after a court ordered year sober, I forgave, I never forgot, I tried to trust again. Then, right back off the wagon as though everything we'd worked on was nothing. How can I trust that won't happen again? I just don't think I can.
You can't tell me that when at home alone that you aren't at peace. No walking on eggshells. No vulgar/disrespectful comments. Peace. If you can realize he brings so much chaos, maybe you can be happier without it. Even if that means being alone. Why deal with it if you only get this one life?
I hope you find your peace. We are all trying, every day to find or keep it.