Thank you redatlanta, I've read so much on here and others on this thread saying thank God I didn't get more entangled. I do have very lucid and clear moments then I have a bad day.
Deep down I am thankful (mostly) that I am forced to move on and work on what needs I think she fulfilled in my life. I honestly think they were all imaginary/fantasy thinking she was somebody she never was or will be.
Thanks for letting me vent. I have gotten so much wisdom from so many of you.
I've been to a few alanon meetings even a counselor.
Unfortunately, she wasn't trained in addiction relationships.