You can't bring someone else out of denial. Even if you could, it would only be step one of an incredibly long series of steps of recovery, and even THEN, there would be no guarantees that anything would be different.
This is not "what you've been given". This situation is a result of a myriad of choices that have been made by you and your husband and it is not a "sentence." You have the right to pursue happiness. You will be disappointed if you expect someone else to make you happy.
If you are feeling confused (and who could blame you) you might investigate some ways you can get a little distance from the situation. It's hard to find clarity in the middle of a relationship and living situation with an addict. Time and space (even if it's temporary) can be your friends here while you work out what you want and how you might be able to get it.