One of my biggest questions is how do you "handle" a relationship with your AH.
Background--- He is in denial. He "isn't an alcoholic". Just likes beer, and will drink when he wants and no one will be telling him when and how! Mmmkay! :P
Violent anger outbursts, incredibly rude statements, verbal/emotional abuse... textbook stuff I suppose you could say.
Always, ALWAYS the victim. Poor me....
I started going to Al-Anon four weeks ago, I can only make it once a week right now---doing a newcomers group. I just found this site yesterday and wow, I am so thankful for it... there is so much great information here. I'm learning so much.
So... what I'm struggling with is that he is in great denial that there is any problem, and of course busily blaming the issues on me--which I know I play my part and I'm working on that. But he just expects business as normal and it leaves me feeling confused and crazy. I don't know how to "have" a relationship with this man as I feel like everything is broken and nothing has changed. I have lost my compassion, its been taken over my anger and resentment. I do NOT desire any intimacy with a person who can call me every name in the book, rip apart my self esteem and moments later, expect me to engage intimately with him.
Maybe someone has been in my situation and can offer some suggestions, words of wisdom? I am usually just left feeling completely confused and somewhat crazy!!
Thanks for letting me share.
