My relapses = Arrogance
Been doing a lot of reflecting during this period of sobriety. I start my outpatient treatment next week. Nervous, excited, and scared...to be honest. Anyways I've been trying to understand the reasons why I would "fall of the wagon". Every time I would....didn't matter if I was sober for a week, two, or 30 days...My arrogance was the center. I felt I deserved to drink. I remember my last time.....I actually was trying to talk myself out of it...but I just let my dark passenger take over. Then I came up with this plan on how I wouldn't get caught. Needless to say I did...because now when I drink...I drink large quantities...the 9 times out of 10 lead me to pass out...lol. No hiding that!
Anyways so I'm reflecting on this and also dealing with the issues of my previous drunk transgressions. Even though I'm doing well and feeling great....I have made quite a mess over the past few years...so I have lost a lot of trust in some peoples eyes.
Just checking in. HOpe all is well.