Manisha

I love the man my husband use to be..which was a good man. When I met him, he did not have a problem. In fact he was sober for about 5 years. When his mom died in 2009 he turned into a full blown drug addict. Then came alcohol. I had no idea he had this monster inside of him.

We've been together 9 years and six of those have been hell. He's hit me because i've thrown out drugs . He's lied to me, talked to other women behind my back because he high. He's lost his mind over these drugs. He's high all the time and unconscious most of it. But I am at the point where i"m never around. I haven't been for about two years. I'm out with my friends, doing fun things and working. When I come home and see him I just think he is pathetic at this point. ESP because I sent him to rehab three weeks ago and he checked himself out early and a day later was back to drugs. He has done this probably 10 times.

I don't even know if I care for him anymore. It's crazy because I use to look at him with such admiration but now I just cannot stand him. He's been into 15 car accidents since i've been him and 2 motorcycle accidents . Two of then left him severely injurered and we're still dealing with his medical needs now. I am over it, but financially is why I haven't left. I just want to be happy and the only way I can be is if I cut drugs out of my life and the only way to do that is to cut him out. I think part of me loves the man he use to be but i know that man died a long time ago.

Thanks for letting me rant.