Hello and welcome.
Do you feel despondent because of your drinking, like there is no hope?
I felt that way the last fifteen years of my drinking career. My only interest was drinking. Excitement for me was going to the liquor store at 8am to start the ball rolling.
I didn't drink every day at some points, but it was for sure every day at the end. It's progressive.
I never planned on seeing thirty because of my alcohol abuse. When I did reach it, I didn't know what to do, so I drank more.
Then the bottom fell out and I was a full blown alcoholic. Filled with fear, anxiety and shame after every bout. And, I was a bad drunk. I wasn't someone you would have wanted to know. Unless, of course, if you were another alcoholic to drink with.
There is hope. You'll find lots of support here. Some use a program of recovery like AA.
It's been over four and half years since this seemingly hopeless drunk has had a drink. One day at a time is how I manage it. I can do that.
Best to you. If you put the energy you put into recovery, you can't lose.