Originally Posted by
Forourgirls 
" Don't hate the addict, hate the disease; don't hate the person, hate the behavior; if it's hard to watch it, imagine how hard it is to live it."
I have mixed feelings also, Forourgirls. No, they certainly don't choose to have the disease, but they surely do choose whether or not they get help.
I don't hate XAH, by no means, yet I
do feel that he has a choice and has chosen to drink and lie again and again. I
don't feel he's helpless. He told me right out that he has never once reached out for help when he felt like drinking, even though he knows that's what he should do, even though he has lists of names of people he could talk to.
Add to that the fact that he was in recovery for several years before we got together, so he has had the experience, he knows what it takes. He knows how to do this and has done it before. But he stopped doing it and has not gone back to doing it.
If that's not a choice, I don't know what else to call it.