Hi Wheresmyunicorn
Every situation is different so there is no definitive advice I can give you.
However, empty threats and ultimatums will get you nowhere. In my case, I didn't really sit up and take notice until my wife actually walked out the door (we live abroad so she actually went home to the UK without even telling me, she just left). We did get back together after a month but it took me a further 2 years to be successful in my attempt to stop drinking completely. Despite ones best efforts, this is a REALLY difficult task. I take my hat off to anyone who has been successful.
Also, stopping drinking isn't the half of it. The first year of sobriety is all about repairing the physical side of alcoholism. The second year is all about the emotional side. (I am now just beginning year 3 and only just about getting to the root cause of my alcoholism with my counselor). The third year, I understand, is all about the spiritual side of things. So this is long haul for both of you. And where children are involved, you will need to consider their best interests and I am not the best person to advise you in that regard.
Believe it or not, the unicorn hasn't gone away completely. He has just had his body and mind snatched by an evil and powerful force. Unicorns are not evil, as we all know.