Thank you again so, so much! Hearing from someone(s) on the "other side" of the equation so to speak is so very helpful. If we make it through the holidays without incident, I'm leaning towards giving him the choice. I really think he wants to quit but for whatever reason isn't ready/willing to do what it takes - which may be at the least an in-patient detox. This is a decades long problem.
As for me, I've always liked my cocktails or wine in the evenings but have cut back lately as it just makes me uncomfortable given the circumstances. The meetings I was speaking of were for Alanon - my own personal brand of recovery.