Thank you, all of you, for the quick responses! I know he is not working the program AT ALL - every time I see him pick up a drink, it's obvious. He has started a step-study meeting recently.
As for discussing this with him, we have discussed it many times (too many!). I've even flat out asked him if he's just going through the motions to shut me up lol! (Not that I really expected an honest answer even if he was ...) He admits it's a huge problem and has been for a long time and that it takes up every second of his time with either waiting to drink or have that next one. He just can't/won't take that next step, whatever that has to be.
As far as leaving, my family is all far away. If he won't leave, the kids and I would have to go, which means getting an apt and likely leave behind our dogs with him. That's why it has to be the end of the road for me if I have to make that threat. We would have to sign a lease and go all out; I can't take care of the home we are in (financially or otherwise) alone regardless. I am, however, in a position to care for the 3 of us on my own elsewhere if need be.
I have told him that I was just about sick of this whole situation and that "sucking it up" so to speak if he was really serious about getting sober was one thing - I'm totally ok with that. But, I'm not ok with the situation if he's not going to actually get his *@%! together.
I'm thinking I will just have to deal with this as it is for now. My gut feeling is to wait it out until after the holidays are over and decide from there whether I am truly ready to leave.