Day 3: Feeling physically about the same as yesterday, which is discouraging. I'm committed to getting my diet and nutrition under control immediately this time around. That's going to take a lot of work because I usually eat like garbage or not at all. And when I've tried quitting, it's been the perfect excuse to say "Hey, I'm stressed out, I deserve whatever junk food I'm craving" or "I don't know how to cook and I'm dealing with too much to learn something like that right now." These attitudes have definitely contributed to relapse in the past and probably the present state of lethargy and unhealthiness I'm feeling right now. l've read that simple carbs and refined sugars are killer for alcoholics due to our erratic blood sugar levels, so those are gone this time around. I can cut refined sugar no problem, but the simple carbs are my comfort food. Gonna be tough, but it's giving me some purpose at a time when despair and self-pity run wild on my unattended mind. So breakfast this morning is:
Fried egg
Bowl of pumpkin-oats cereal (whole grain)
Cup of orange juice (no added sugar)
It's really stupid to be telling people that a grown man is struggling to make that breakfast. My obnoxious head-voice is saying "How about just cereal, it's going to be a pain in the ass to clean a frying pan." So stupid. But lying and hiding my faults got me here in the first place. Need to be humble and stop hiding.
Good luck today, everyone.