Hi Team,
Just finished work! Yay
Gonna head to school in a bit
then yoga and read for school tonight.
I try not to count days, but I do know when my 30 days will arrive, I'll celebrate then.
As for being jealous of drinking, I used to be, but not really anymore.
I don't want a couple social drinks, I want to sit on my deck alone and put down a bottle or two.
On that note, I don't feel like I'm being deprived or missing out, I allow alcohol to deprive me of so much; I've realized it's the other way around, I'm not missing out by getting sober, I miss out on EVERYTHING else when I do drink, I drink and hangover my life away.
I have cravings, but its more of a bad cycle of thought, rather than actually wanting to drink; I always think about "I could drink tonight, today, tomorrow etc",
If I have more sober time, I'm pretty sure I'll stop thinking about it so much at some point because it's not something I do anymore, it's years of a repeated thought pattern that needs to be corrected.