Member of the July class who's back to Day 2. This one hurts more than usual, and it's not just the cravings/hangover/PAWS. I managed to lose my job this time. I'm trying to look at it as a blessing because it was a massive source of stress at a time when I needed to be focused on my disease.
But I let a lot of people down. Thankfully, everyone I've talked to has been understanding. My wife was the biggest source of strength. In the past there would have been a lot of anger and threats after a mistake like this. Not this time. She saw how much pain I was in and really took charge of the situation. The last few years have been hell for her, but we've been together for more than fifteen. She believes in me, but knows that I can't give one inch to my disease. I need to treat it like diabetes, something I could have prevented but a manageable sickness.
I've taken the first step and, for the first time, I'm 100% committed to recovery. There's no job to worry about and no emotional abuse or constant shaming from my wife. I'll be posting every day to track my progress. I did that back in July and it was nice to go back and read my posts again. It reminded me that these feelings I'm having right now will pass. I can be healthy again. I just need to stay vigilant.
Thanks for reading this. I hope I'll never have to be in this position again, but it helps to hear that others have made it through similar situations.
