Originally Posted by
dandylion 
LovesVWs......I noted the letter that you wrote when he was in rehab 2yrs. ago....and, it sounds like you have had a pretty m iserable time for about the last 10yrs. You must be exhausted! I don't know how old your kids are....it must be a very tense atmosphere for them to live in, also.....with a momma that is worn out, exhausted and a dad that is off the hinge.
It can be very tense, and I see it affecting our 9 year old son more than our 6 year old daughter at this point. My son is a lot like his dad and is a truly sensitive soul. He tells me he tries to ignore it all but finds it difficult - obviously. My 6 year old daughter will outright tell her Dad he is being a tit and needs a time out and to take a minute to prepare an apology. She is so much like me its funny. It is sad that a 6 year old has a higher emotional intellegence than a grown man.
MY RAH grew up in a volitile house of Alcoholics, and often states he wished his mom left his dad, however she is a tit too.
I feel compassion for how you must be feeling and, how scared you must be.
I am not scared at all. It is his illness and disease process, not mine. I can leave or kick him out at any time. Sure there are a few logistics, but nothing I can't work out with time. I think he'd even understand my reasoning. LOL. I am thankful that I am in a position where I can provide for my family without his presence and support.
I do feel lost. I admit that. Waiting for the 'whats next' and deciding where I cut my losses is the only part causing me distress.
What support do you have, if any? Support is so crucial for you. You are carrying the concern for several people on your back....who is there for you?
I have the best Mom ever, and a great core group of friends too, Along with a few with husbands in recovery. I attend the odd AlAnon meeting, because I work nights and sleep during the day I have a hard time prioritizing them with family commitments. I would like to go to more, but truly have only found one I liked that didn't make me feel like the only answer was to leave my husband (oh how they may be right). LOL. My very first group I went to was AWFUL.