Welcome 60. Glad you are climbing out of the rabbit hole again with us.
JL-
Sorry about your sleep issues and the beer. Today is a new day. Don't let your mind fool you that you should continue since you only had a "few". I know my mind plays that game with me all too well. Thinking of you.
Help and need - I am all about lists too! Of course only when I'm not drinking. I have a little planner book that I'm writing in constantly - but once I start a drinking cycle, I don't even open it. Its like that part of me disappears. And I miss her.
Top my list also is no drinking. Nothing changes in my life if I don't. From little things like cleaning out a closet to big things like relationships or taking care of myself.
Despite my being sober for 4 days, I find myself thinking old unrealistic thoughts about my ex, kinda like I do when I'm drinking. I blocked him on my phone a month ago but I've been playing this game with myself and unblocking him for a day or a night to see if he will contact me. What am I ... 16?? And I've come awfully close to contacting him - email or text- Which I simply cannot do. There is nothing to be said, it's like chasing my own tail. And he is toxic for me.
Anyway, on to day 5. Both my daughters' birthdays are in the next week so it's busy and expensive! I make a big fuss over their birthdays - always have- and honestly put too much pressure on myself. I'm sure it's my guilt and trying to make it up to them that their dad is such a Sh••**t and Barely in their lives ( this is not my ex I spoke of earlier) . I just like to make it nice for them and Love to see them happy and feel special - because they are
Your posts are keeping me going - thank you to all, let's stick together.