Not intending to be harsh, but blowing a 0.09 is way above the limit in most countries, put that together with potentially freely drinking in a vehicle and it's a pretty serious situation, what if you guys had of knocked someone down and had a death on your hands? . . . pretty reckless stuff, what were you guys thinking?
In my opinion the court order is bang on, there needs to be some acceptance and change on both your parts with regards your drinking, it only takes the once to kill someone, and for your life to be permanently affected by alcohol.
Change is possible though, acceptance of the problem is the first step!!