I've grappled with the delusion that I can successfully moderate my drinking for so long. You know, one thing I think that prolonged it was that I just couldn't believe that I couldn't moderate my drinking. It just seemed so ridiculous that I refused to believe it. Occasionally, I would be successful too, which didn't help. It seemed to confirm the hypothesis that I could. I've finally accepted it now. For some reason that actually feels good now, rather than a sentence to lifelong deprivation. I totally get where you are coming from though. Absolutely.
Hi Jen!!! Good to see you popping in :-)