Yep, I totally relate.
Earlier on in life, it wasn't quite as powerful... It was more like nothing was really any fun or good or had any meaning without alcohol. I really sought meaning and connection and experience - but it all had to be woven together with drugs or booze. Preferably both.
But then somewhere along the way, some dark black switch was thrown and it became like you describe. The meaning was the obliteration. The booze was what mattered and I only went through the motions with anything else; all merely a backdrop for the drink.