kicking myself again
i,m back to day one again, i went 8 days and then last night i drank, a friend was suppose to go to a meeting with me and didn't return my call and i stopped and bought a bottle, even told myself that i didn't have to drink it just because i bought, yeah sure; i stopped myself wednesday night when the urge was strong, why didn't i do it last night; i am so angry with myself right now and wondering how i am going to face my cousin this morning, he has 13 years of soberity and went with me to a meeting last friday night, this morning i am suppose to pick him up at 8:45 and do some shopping and go to a meeting, all i want to do is hide, but i know i can't; i am so disappointed in myself; i am going to work harder at staying sober, i have decided to start going to meetings at lunchtime, i will go into work early and just take a long lunch, there are several meeting locations within 10 minutes of where i work, i have to get to as many as i can; i also know that not having cash on me helps a lot too