Originally Posted by JeffreyAK

I did mean things to people I cared about because I was in denial and defensive projection mode - I blamed everyone else for all my problems, not myself and certainly not my drinking. It's common among more advanced addicts who've accumulated negative consequences, and it sounds like your ex-boyfriend has accumulated quite a few. Honestly the best course is probably to look after yourself, not him. You can't fix him, and if he's damaging you then priority #1 has to be damage control for you. He may or may not stop drinking, and if he does you can re-evaluate, but you don't have to put up with his blame-shifting.