Originally Posted by
zoso77 
...do I want to die alone? Or do I put myself out there?
This is where I would look at my thinking.
I don't think fear of being along or dying alone is ever a reason for getting into or being in a relationship. It's not about the dying...it's all about the living and wanting (not needing) to share the moments and memories. I think one of the, if not the biggest goals of our recoveries is allowing ourselves to be vulnerable again. To let those walls we've built up to come down, and open ourselves up and allow others in. And, knowing we now have the wisdom to be able to discern who and what is healthy.
Is telecommuting an option in your line of work? Spring, summer, and early autumn in New England, late autumn and winter in Florida or an island. Is there a possibility you have a touch of SAD? For me, after only a few weeks of everything being brown and gray and cold, it's time for me to follow the birds south for the winter.