BB505 - How long has it been since you had a drink? If it's more than a week then you are prepared to make the decision to quit for good.
As Greenwood says, it's your AV keeping you from believing you can make the decision to quit forever. If you never want to drink again all you have to do is BELIEVE it. You're as ready as you'll ever be. If you continue to worry about drinking in the future you are setting yourself to do just that. That's why "recoveryism" fails so much. It teaches you to believe that you will always be a drinker.
That's just not true.
Welcome to the real world JD - congratulations! It's a huge weight off your shoulders. In the early days whenever the "beast" would enter my thoughts I would say out loud, "I will never drink again and I will never change my mind." That was all it took to scare it into submission.