Matilda, all of the above are good points to ponder. Have you read Fradley's recent post about his upcoming dilemma, the advice we gave him and his response? Many of us at times want to do something that can put us at risk. When I'm tempted, I think through how much time and effort it took me to become reliably sober. I don't want to go back there again! I don't know how long you've been sober - I just hit 14 months this week and still feel like a mama lioness protecting her cubs when it comes to my sobriety.